Focus on What You Can Influence

When pressure rises, our attention often moves in the wrong direction.

We start thinking about the reaction we want from someone else, the decision another person should make, the outcome we need, or the circumstances we wish were different. The more important the situation feels, the easier it is to spend energy on things that are not actually ours to control.

A useful shift is to ask a simpler question: What can I influence here?

Control is smaller than influence

We control relatively little. We do not control another person’s response, the market, an organisation’s politics, or the final outcome of a difficult conversation. But this does not make us powerless.

Between control and helplessness lies influence.

We can influence how well we prepare, what questions we ask, how carefully we listen, the clarity of our message, the quality of our attention, and the way we respond when something unexpected happens.

Attention is part of the problem

Under pressure, attention tends to narrow around the desired result. That can make us less responsive to what is actually happening. We rehearse our argument instead of listening. We try to manage another person’s reaction instead of noticing what the conversation requires.

Focusing on influence changes the orientation. Instead of asking, “How do I make this happen?”, we can ask:

• What is actually mine to do?
• What information am I missing?
• What can I say or ask that might change the quality of the interaction?
• Where am I spending energy on an outcome I cannot determine?

A practical leadership habit

This distinction is particularly useful in leadership. Leaders work through other people, which means that many important outcomes can never be controlled directly.

The task is not to become detached from outcomes. It is to remain committed to them while directing attention toward the actions, relationships and conditions that can actually be influenced.

Before a difficult meeting, decision or conversation, try separating the situation into three questions:

1. What do I want to happen?
2. What is outside my control?
3. What can I influence through what I do next?

The third question is usually where useful action begins.